Memoirs of a Rideshare Driver: Playing the Field
Episode 5 in a series of a true rideshare stories
A guy kisses her goodnight and closes the door for her as she gets into the car. As soon as we start driving, she calls a different guy to double-check that he is still coming over tonight.
After she hangs up, she glances at me and says, “Don't judge.”
A few minutes later, she’s bending my ear, making a therapist out of me, like a scene in a hack screenplay. She recently got out of a long relationship, she says, and she's looking for something new. The guy who kissed her goodnight is a bartender. He's super nice, super sweet, but he's shy and unassertive. The guy on the phone is an alpha male, take-charge type.
Phone Guy is hot, but she can't wrangle him. He won't commit. He just wants sex. Bartender Guy is devoted to her, but he's just sort of, you know, dull. She went on a bad date with a third guy tonight (Good Lord), and then met up with Bartender Guy because he makes her happy when she's in a bad mood, and now Phone Guy is coming over to meet her at home.
She also notes that Phone Guy is tall, which is hot, and Bartender Guy is short, which is not hot. (Short guys never catch a break, poor bastards.) See, she likes to “climb trees” and tall guys are basically big trees she can climb, but short guys... how do you climb a short guy? She seemingly wants me to help her answer this question, but I just shrug, telling her I am neither short nor do I climb guys.
She asks how tall I am. When I tell her I’m 6’4”, she spends the rest of the ride hitting on me, apparently oblivious to the sheer number of flags she has just flown in every shade of red.
Memoirs of a Rideshare Driver is a weekly series that tells true stories of my 10,000+ trips as a rideshare driver. I will post them every Monday.